I've been thinking a lot lately (yeah, I know, big shocker) about the reasons why I write. I've discussed on here that writing can be an act of arrogance, an act of deceit, and an act of vanity. But today, as I leapt into Coy (the cafe at the centre of my wip) I realized that I was writing as a means of escape.
I've always read to explore. I've been to Paris, to Rome, all over England. I've been to Narnia and Never Never Land. I've been down the rabbit hole and through the looking glass... In books I have met some very good friends who have never, could never, let me down. In books I have been brave, I have been bold, impulsive, and free. In books I am so far away from my life that it comes as a shock to the system when I have to come back to reality.
Today, I got that freedom while writing. I'm sure I've had it before, but it's never been as needed or as noticeable as it was today. I immersed myself in my characters' lives, their motivations, their pain...and for a little while I got to forget my own. Today I found real success in words and scenes being created. I finished a really difficult scene (I'm not terribly experienced at writing battles so I've been avoiding it) and felt like I was on top of the world.
I cannot wait to see where this new headspace takes me...and my story.
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Pass the Tea and Sympathy...
Writing. It's something that happens to people more than it's something people do...at least for me.
I'm trying to finish out SERA, my wip, and I'm trying to sketch out stories and themes for my next project. I've realized, though, that my heart isn't in it, because my heart is out there living real life.
It's not that I don't still live in my book, I do...I still love to hear my characters talk to each other as they sit in the amazing world I've created. Usually, though, my inner life is quite calm, and my characters' lives are the most interesting things in it. Lately my head has been somewhat chaotic and I'm seeing this chaos on the pages.
People say to write what you know, what you've lived. Writers are supposed to go out and take on life so they can be accurate in their make-believe worlds.
But what happens when the real world takes over and bleeds into the created one?
Should I ride out the storm, or try to push through?
Either way, the chaos itself may serve as a great platform for a new book very soon. Silver linings...?
I'm trying to finish out SERA, my wip, and I'm trying to sketch out stories and themes for my next project. I've realized, though, that my heart isn't in it, because my heart is out there living real life.
It's not that I don't still live in my book, I do...I still love to hear my characters talk to each other as they sit in the amazing world I've created. Usually, though, my inner life is quite calm, and my characters' lives are the most interesting things in it. Lately my head has been somewhat chaotic and I'm seeing this chaos on the pages.
People say to write what you know, what you've lived. Writers are supposed to go out and take on life so they can be accurate in their make-believe worlds.
But what happens when the real world takes over and bleeds into the created one?
Should I ride out the storm, or try to push through?
Either way, the chaos itself may serve as a great platform for a new book very soon. Silver linings...?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
#mytwitterbook
So here it is, the plan for the book inspired by friends and acquaintances on Twitter. I hardly slept last night, so many thoughts were flying around in my head. I have come up with a few guidlelines to make this project both feasible and realistic. Please feel free to comment with opinions/suggestions.
#mytwitterbook Guidelines and Requirements
Theme: The one that got away; the path not taken
Who is eligible: The ideas considered will come directly from my Twitter followers. People in my city and those I know IRL will be given preference if I end up with more responses than I expect.
How to send me an idea: DM on Twitter, email me if you already have my addy, comment here if you are already a Twitter follower and blog follower
What am I looking for: Bare bones of your (or someone else's) experience with the theme - can be in more than 1 DM, can have as much or as little detail as you are comfortable sharing
How will your story be used/what participation and/or rights will you have: I will use your story as inspiration, and will inevitably expand and add detail as I see fit. However, you will be kept up to date on license taken and will have input into the final product if you wish. You will not retain any rights, nor will you have control over the publication or sale of the story you inspired.
I may make this more formal as I go on. For now, I just hope I can get 10 responses. This is definitely the coolest writing project that I have been involved in - I can't wait to get started!
#mytwitterbook Guidelines and Requirements
Theme: The one that got away; the path not taken
Who is eligible: The ideas considered will come directly from my Twitter followers. People in my city and those I know IRL will be given preference if I end up with more responses than I expect.
How to send me an idea: DM on Twitter, email me if you already have my addy, comment here if you are already a Twitter follower and blog follower
What am I looking for: Bare bones of your (or someone else's) experience with the theme - can be in more than 1 DM, can have as much or as little detail as you are comfortable sharing
How will your story be used/what participation and/or rights will you have: I will use your story as inspiration, and will inevitably expand and add detail as I see fit. However, you will be kept up to date on license taken and will have input into the final product if you wish. You will not retain any rights, nor will you have control over the publication or sale of the story you inspired.
I may make this more formal as I go on. For now, I just hope I can get 10 responses. This is definitely the coolest writing project that I have been involved in - I can't wait to get started!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
The Intoxication of the Idea
Tonight on Twitter I fell into a conversation with 2 people from my city. The conversation grew and evolved as we laughed and teased about my wip.
Then one of them, @KevinMacKenzie, offhandedly mentioned that I should use some of their ideas sometime. Like a compilation of 10 short stories from 10 Twitter people with a common theme. It hit me like a revelation.
I could do this. I want to do this. I got that high that comes with the first few moments of inspiration...and now I'm determined. I'm determined not only to write #mytwitterbook but to finish SERA first. I'm going to have a clean slate when I start this new project.
That, and the realization that I can make a pattern myself for the stuffed animals I'm planning to make, have made this a pretty good Saturday evening!
Then one of them, @KevinMacKenzie, offhandedly mentioned that I should use some of their ideas sometime. Like a compilation of 10 short stories from 10 Twitter people with a common theme. It hit me like a revelation.
I could do this. I want to do this. I got that high that comes with the first few moments of inspiration...and now I'm determined. I'm determined not only to write #mytwitterbook but to finish SERA first. I'm going to have a clean slate when I start this new project.
That, and the realization that I can make a pattern myself for the stuffed animals I'm planning to make, have made this a pretty good Saturday evening!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Flawed. Writing as vanity and deceit.
Being by nature a writer I have enjoyed my (and your) fair share of introspection. As a returned-to-the-Church Catholic I have spent my introspective moments for the past five years focused on how both my actions and my intentions appear to God and my loved ones. I have also had to take a good hard look at my innermost ugliness, my vices, and my faults.
I have many failings. I probably have a heck of a lot more than you do. But then, if you've spent as many years screwing up as I have, you may give me a run for my money. I have many failings, but (please ignore the wordplay as I struggle to be honest) only a few major weaknesses. All of my sins, my failures, my regrets come down to a few massive character flaws.
Vanity and deceit. Deceit caused by vanity. Vanity leading to deceit. Healthy imagination. Creating a social persona. Maintaining and defending said persona. These are my major flaws. (People who know me would almost certainly add others, but I have a feeling that, followed to their core, I would discover them to be due in some way to vanity and/or deceit.) So I know these things about myself, and I do my level best to keep myself from falling into my own traps.
Writing is the one area of my life where I can give these flaws full rein and not face consequences irl. My imagination is then allowed to spin the most convoluted web of organized untruths that it can conceive, and my vanity can create a Me who is not Heather. That Me lives the life that this me cannot. She is prettier than me, smarter than me, friendlier and more popular than me. She takes risks that I can't even think of without a shudder. She is powerful in all the ways that I am weak. She is an expression of my vanity.
The other, more obvious, expression of that vanity is the thought that anyone, anywhere would choose to take time out of their busy lives to read the yarns I write.
Reading may be purely voyeurism, writing pure deceit, and publishing pure vanity. I don't believe that's all they are for me, but it's only honest to admit that in a small part of my psyche, that's the truth.
I have many failings. I probably have a heck of a lot more than you do. But then, if you've spent as many years screwing up as I have, you may give me a run for my money. I have many failings, but (please ignore the wordplay as I struggle to be honest) only a few major weaknesses. All of my sins, my failures, my regrets come down to a few massive character flaws.
Vanity and deceit. Deceit caused by vanity. Vanity leading to deceit. Healthy imagination. Creating a social persona. Maintaining and defending said persona. These are my major flaws. (People who know me would almost certainly add others, but I have a feeling that, followed to their core, I would discover them to be due in some way to vanity and/or deceit.) So I know these things about myself, and I do my level best to keep myself from falling into my own traps.
Writing is the one area of my life where I can give these flaws full rein and not face consequences irl. My imagination is then allowed to spin the most convoluted web of organized untruths that it can conceive, and my vanity can create a Me who is not Heather. That Me lives the life that this me cannot. She is prettier than me, smarter than me, friendlier and more popular than me. She takes risks that I can't even think of without a shudder. She is powerful in all the ways that I am weak. She is an expression of my vanity.
The other, more obvious, expression of that vanity is the thought that anyone, anywhere would choose to take time out of their busy lives to read the yarns I write.
Reading may be purely voyeurism, writing pure deceit, and publishing pure vanity. I don't believe that's all they are for me, but it's only honest to admit that in a small part of my psyche, that's the truth.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
That old familiar fear...
In my quest to finish SERA, my wip, I have decided to fully reread everything I've written for it to date. This includes my handwritten notes and chapters, each chapter on my laptop, and all the outlines I've drawn up to date.
When I started writing SERA, I decided to create each chapter as a separate word doc, so that when I want to navigate through the story I'm not dealing with 300 pages to sift through. This has been extremely helpful, not only in the drafting stage, because placement of each of the plot points is much easier to visualize for me; but also will hopefully be helpful in the revising stage, as I will be able to look at each chapter individually, moving them around within the full text as needed with no more effort than a change in the table of contents.
As I began my first real read-through of all the chapters in order (which is a totally different experience than reading them piecemeal - an effort for which I'm generally rewarded with hours of self-doubt and insecurity), I fell in love all over again. The places came back to me with such intensity, I felt as if I had been travelling away from home for far too long. The characters struck me with their different personalities; some I hadn't really though of in months were there on the page and in my mind's eye: beautiful, weak, hateful, disgusting, powerful.
I read and felt a sense of both wonder and pride that, although I am faced with mountains of revision and I am nowhere near ready for the much-needed edit, I created this world and these people. It amazed and saddened me that these characters don't yet exist for anyone but me. The pride lasted precisely three seconds (ok, maybe I'm ballparking it, but still it wasn't very long) before the fear took over. I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach and my hands started sweating.
That old familiar fear, the paralyzing, creativity-sapping fear that no one will ever read my story, or love my characters or feel about this as much as I do took over. I went from euphoric creator to doubt-riddled writer in three seconds.
Do you ever feel that old, familiar fear?
When I started writing SERA, I decided to create each chapter as a separate word doc, so that when I want to navigate through the story I'm not dealing with 300 pages to sift through. This has been extremely helpful, not only in the drafting stage, because placement of each of the plot points is much easier to visualize for me; but also will hopefully be helpful in the revising stage, as I will be able to look at each chapter individually, moving them around within the full text as needed with no more effort than a change in the table of contents.
As I began my first real read-through of all the chapters in order (which is a totally different experience than reading them piecemeal - an effort for which I'm generally rewarded with hours of self-doubt and insecurity), I fell in love all over again. The places came back to me with such intensity, I felt as if I had been travelling away from home for far too long. The characters struck me with their different personalities; some I hadn't really though of in months were there on the page and in my mind's eye: beautiful, weak, hateful, disgusting, powerful.
I read and felt a sense of both wonder and pride that, although I am faced with mountains of revision and I am nowhere near ready for the much-needed edit, I created this world and these people. It amazed and saddened me that these characters don't yet exist for anyone but me. The pride lasted precisely three seconds (ok, maybe I'm ballparking it, but still it wasn't very long) before the fear took over. I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach and my hands started sweating.
That old familiar fear, the paralyzing, creativity-sapping fear that no one will ever read my story, or love my characters or feel about this as much as I do took over. I went from euphoric creator to doubt-riddled writer in three seconds.
Do you ever feel that old, familiar fear?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Laws of (Writing) Attraction
The past few days, I've been thinking about men, attraction, and writing for the masses versus writing for myself. It is an interesting place, being an omniscient writer in our characters' universe - being able to decide who is attractive to our MCs and why. Having this resonate with our readers is a different story.
Case in point: Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Polite, well-bred, dark, reserved, deep - he seemed to have been written exactly for me. Even physically he hit all of my major points of attraction. I wanted Lizzie to fall for him; I wanted smarmy Mr. Wickham to be seen for the charlatan he was; I wanted Mr. Darcy to be vindicated and celebrated for the glorious being he is.
How did dear old Ms. Austen writing so long ago tap into exactly the type of man who would be the ideal not only for myself, but for countless others? Is there an archetype for writers to follow?
I don't think there is one archetype of 'attractive male',most recently the emnity between "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" is the most glaring example of diff'rnt strokes for diff'rnt folks. The two characters are practically opposites, although passion and emotion are traits they share in abundance. I am a "Team Edward" girl (as much as that title pains me), and I struggle to see anything romantically alluring in the character of Jacob Black. Those who are avidly "Team Jacob" find Edward to be cold, controlling, and unfeeling.
So as I craft my own hero, I am sure to write the male romantic interest/hero to follow at least some of the pattern forged by Mr. Darcy and Edward - after all it's my world, my sotry, and if I don't fall in love with thtem a little bit, then what's the point of writing them? However, I would like for my books to be liked by more than just myself, so I will have to include positive characters who do not fit my standards but who would be attractive to others.
I wonder if I will be able to write less-attractive-to-me characters with the same passion and authenticity that I apply to my favourite guys.
Next post: writing female characters as an exercise in personal vanity and vendetta.
Case in point: Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Polite, well-bred, dark, reserved, deep - he seemed to have been written exactly for me. Even physically he hit all of my major points of attraction. I wanted Lizzie to fall for him; I wanted smarmy Mr. Wickham to be seen for the charlatan he was; I wanted Mr. Darcy to be vindicated and celebrated for the glorious being he is.
How did dear old Ms. Austen writing so long ago tap into exactly the type of man who would be the ideal not only for myself, but for countless others? Is there an archetype for writers to follow?
I don't think there is one archetype of 'attractive male',most recently the emnity between "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" is the most glaring example of diff'rnt strokes for diff'rnt folks. The two characters are practically opposites, although passion and emotion are traits they share in abundance. I am a "Team Edward" girl (as much as that title pains me), and I struggle to see anything romantically alluring in the character of Jacob Black. Those who are avidly "Team Jacob" find Edward to be cold, controlling, and unfeeling.
So as I craft my own hero, I am sure to write the male romantic interest/hero to follow at least some of the pattern forged by Mr. Darcy and Edward - after all it's my world, my sotry, and if I don't fall in love with thtem a little bit, then what's the point of writing them? However, I would like for my books to be liked by more than just myself, so I will have to include positive characters who do not fit my standards but who would be attractive to others.
I wonder if I will be able to write less-attractive-to-me characters with the same passion and authenticity that I apply to my favourite guys.
Next post: writing female characters as an exercise in personal vanity and vendetta.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Can one search for inspiration?
How does inspiration happen? Is it a lightening bolt that wakes you up, or a random thought in the shower? For me, it's often either, or both. It's the when of inspiration that seems to be the most difficult part. I often have that moment of pure, blissful clarity as I am in my car without any way of sharing it, or as the shampoo is dripping down my face and coming dangerously close to my eyelashes. I think I will remember it, I will myself to remember it, but all too often I fail.
Inspiration funny though: I believe that I experience these random acts of brilliance exponentially more often when I am seeking itafter a long absence and not for too long. I have committed myself to finishing my favourite of my 3 WIPs, and just yesterday I had a flash of realization, an unravelling of the gnarled plotlines in which I had become hopelessly entangled. I saw, clear as a dirt path through a thick forest, how to avoid the formerly inevitable ninja-monks from having to save my plot. I had been racking my brain, begging for this kind of revelation for months prior to 'temporarily' shelving the whole shebang.
(A tweet from @fakeNaNoWriMo back in November that said something to the effect of: when in doubt, add ninjas was hilarious to me considering the horror I was facing.)
Having the curtain lifted, seeing the answer that should have been there the whole time, made me think: what is inspiration, and can I really call it at will? Is it an energy that as it is used depletes? Is it a muscle that grows stronger with practice? Is it completely random and unintentional for humans - a brief glimpse of the brilliance of God?
Whatever it is, I am elated that it came to visit me. I never realized how unhappy I was about the death-by-ninja that awaited my beloved novel.
I fervently wish that the angel of inspiration, for an angel it seems to me, comes to visit you all this month! Happy writing!
Inspiration funny though: I believe that I experience these random acts of brilliance exponentially more often when I am seeking itafter a long absence and not for too long. I have committed myself to finishing my favourite of my 3 WIPs, and just yesterday I had a flash of realization, an unravelling of the gnarled plotlines in which I had become hopelessly entangled. I saw, clear as a dirt path through a thick forest, how to avoid the formerly inevitable ninja-monks from having to save my plot. I had been racking my brain, begging for this kind of revelation for months prior to 'temporarily' shelving the whole shebang.
(A tweet from @fakeNaNoWriMo back in November that said something to the effect of: when in doubt, add ninjas was hilarious to me considering the horror I was facing.)
Having the curtain lifted, seeing the answer that should have been there the whole time, made me think: what is inspiration, and can I really call it at will? Is it an energy that as it is used depletes? Is it a muscle that grows stronger with practice? Is it completely random and unintentional for humans - a brief glimpse of the brilliance of God?
Whatever it is, I am elated that it came to visit me. I never realized how unhappy I was about the death-by-ninja that awaited my beloved novel.
I fervently wish that the angel of inspiration, for an angel it seems to me, comes to visit you all this month! Happy writing!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Ughhh...Rookie Mistake!
I had a dream a few weeks ago. This dream could be the beginning of the plot of one messed-up, intense, and pretty cool novel. I woke up kinda freaked out and very inspired.
I have yet to finish my 2nd novel...and the first one is chilling up there on the shelf.
The other day while doing the dishes, I was thinking about a tumultuous period in my own life. Bigger-than-life characters, unbelievable plot twists, darkness, true love, betrayal, they all jumped to my mind in an instant. I stood there kinda freaked out and very inspired.
Still haven't finished the 2nd nor the shelved.
I remember reading last year about jotting down new ideas while focusing on your current story. It warned newbies like myself not to get caught up in the 'grass is greener' mentality that comes when you're more than 3/4 of the way through your book. I understood the wisdom of it, but didn't fully understand the temptation of the shiny new story that I haven't already hacked to pieces.
A few days ago while I was wrestling with these three absolutely different (different genres, different tone, even different styles) stories that are fighting for supremacy in my mind, I realized that although I have hacked my 2nd book to death, and the wrinkles I have left are impossible to reconcile right now and I have less than 20000 words left followed by eons and eons of revision...it is the story I love the most.
It is the path of most resistance, but in the end, I will be better for following it.
I have yet to finish my 2nd novel...and the first one is chilling up there on the shelf.
The other day while doing the dishes, I was thinking about a tumultuous period in my own life. Bigger-than-life characters, unbelievable plot twists, darkness, true love, betrayal, they all jumped to my mind in an instant. I stood there kinda freaked out and very inspired.
Still haven't finished the 2nd nor the shelved.
I remember reading last year about jotting down new ideas while focusing on your current story. It warned newbies like myself not to get caught up in the 'grass is greener' mentality that comes when you're more than 3/4 of the way through your book. I understood the wisdom of it, but didn't fully understand the temptation of the shiny new story that I haven't already hacked to pieces.
A few days ago while I was wrestling with these three absolutely different (different genres, different tone, even different styles) stories that are fighting for supremacy in my mind, I realized that although I have hacked my 2nd book to death, and the wrinkles I have left are impossible to reconcile right now and I have less than 20000 words left followed by eons and eons of revision...it is the story I love the most.
It is the path of most resistance, but in the end, I will be better for following it.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
SUCCESS!!
I have done it!! I have managed to figure out a way to write during my hectic day! I feel like I have caught a life preserver thrown by...myself!
In my job, I do not have the ability for a Twitter-inspired (and supported) #1k1hr, so I was not sure how to incorporate writing into my workday. When I get home, after Thing 1 Thing 2 and Squishy (poor baby, I'll have to change her nickname before she ends up with a complex) are in bed, I am so done I just want to relax with a glass of wine and a book that's already been written.
But I have found the magic formula - instead of #1k1hr where I aim for 1000 words in an hour, I am going to aim for the more reasonable #1/4k/1/4hr where I go for 250 words in 15 minutes, and try to hit 4 of these in a day.
Ahhh...sanity restored!
Annnnd...GO!
In my job, I do not have the ability for a Twitter-inspired (and supported) #1k1hr, so I was not sure how to incorporate writing into my workday. When I get home, after Thing 1 Thing 2 and Squishy (poor baby, I'll have to change her nickname before she ends up with a complex) are in bed, I am so done I just want to relax with a glass of wine and a book that's already been written.
But I have found the magic formula - instead of #1k1hr where I aim for 1000 words in an hour, I am going to aim for the more reasonable #1/4k/1/4hr where I go for 250 words in 15 minutes, and try to hit 4 of these in a day.
Ahhh...sanity restored!
Annnnd...GO!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Life after maternity leave ended...
How sad to see that this blog, my writing, and everything that made me happy, that made me me bit the dust back in September. Not to say I'm not happy, or fulfilled, or that life's not great right now...it is, in a different way.
I'm back to work in a new job that requires a lot of personal interactions throughout the day, so (a) we have more money and (b) I have no energy for anything but my children after work, and can't even form a coherent sentence much less finish off the novel I love so dearly.
I thought that if that I couldn't put my all into the book, I shouldn't put anything. My book deserves more than what I am able to give it, certainly,and to do a halfway job on it would be very disheartening.
All that aside, I have decided a new path. I will write little bits throughout my day. I will take 5 minute breaks and jot down an idea here, a scrap of dialigue there, and on the weekend I will take one evening to myself and see what I've come up with over the week.
Six months have been wasted. Time to start out again.
:)
I'm back to work in a new job that requires a lot of personal interactions throughout the day, so (a) we have more money and (b) I have no energy for anything but my children after work, and can't even form a coherent sentence much less finish off the novel I love so dearly.
I thought that if that I couldn't put my all into the book, I shouldn't put anything. My book deserves more than what I am able to give it, certainly,and to do a halfway job on it would be very disheartening.
All that aside, I have decided a new path. I will write little bits throughout my day. I will take 5 minute breaks and jot down an idea here, a scrap of dialigue there, and on the weekend I will take one evening to myself and see what I've come up with over the week.
Six months have been wasted. Time to start out again.
:)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Nose to the grindstone...
"Just keep writing. Just keep writing. Just keep writing, writing, writing..."
I have sent out 10 queries so far, wanting to start slow in order to better deal with rejections. My thinking was that it would be much easier for them to trickle in rather than to face a whole slew of them in one sitting.
My thinking didn't take into account those agents who are simply too busy to send rejections and fall under the "no news is a rejection" category. Once I realized that error, I purposely set out to find agents who not only represent my genre (picture book series) but who are also known for fast replies.
Hoping for a response...any response, I sent out 7 more queries to those agents, but so far, nothing. I find myself checking my gmail account with OCD-like frequency. This has left me in a state of frustrated serenity with numerous half-created haiku floating around in my mind.
I have to redirect and regroup. I need to take a few days away from agent research/query mode and continue writing my paranormal romance, breaking it up with stints of writing more of the picture book series. I love my novel, and I adore my stories. I love the agent/query process. I LOVE the idea of being published. I'm even ok with the idea of being rejected...I think it might make me feel like a "real" author.
I just hate waiting.
I have sent out 10 queries so far, wanting to start slow in order to better deal with rejections. My thinking was that it would be much easier for them to trickle in rather than to face a whole slew of them in one sitting.
My thinking didn't take into account those agents who are simply too busy to send rejections and fall under the "no news is a rejection" category. Once I realized that error, I purposely set out to find agents who not only represent my genre (picture book series) but who are also known for fast replies.
Hoping for a response...any response, I sent out 7 more queries to those agents, but so far, nothing. I find myself checking my gmail account with OCD-like frequency. This has left me in a state of frustrated serenity with numerous half-created haiku floating around in my mind.
I have to redirect and regroup. I need to take a few days away from agent research/query mode and continue writing my paranormal romance, breaking it up with stints of writing more of the picture book series. I love my novel, and I adore my stories. I love the agent/query process. I LOVE the idea of being published. I'm even ok with the idea of being rejected...I think it might make me feel like a "real" author.
I just hate waiting.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Fellow frustrated frazzled queriers!!
Do I (or rather does Natalie Fischer) have a contest for you??
Horrendously Hilarious Query Contest
I'm not terribly funny, being more the dry wit type, so I probably won't be entering (although a query based on my lack of humour might be my ticket) but I still can't wait to read all the entries!!
Horrendously Hilarious Query Contest
I'm not terribly funny, being more the dry wit type, so I probably won't be entering (although a query based on my lack of humour might be my ticket) but I still can't wait to read all the entries!!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Sometimes a dream is better than reality...
...or maybe I'm just telling myself that since I found a TYPO in the picture book MS that I've already sent out to five-yes-5!!! agents.
It's probably the extreme in wishful thinking, but just for today I want to think that getting published isn't the be all and end all of my ambition, inspiration, and talent. I want to believe that outside recognition won't feel as wonderful as I imagine and that rejection won't hurt as much as I think it will. I want to believe the blog that I read on Query Tracker blog (QT is the best resource if you're querying) that the grass may not be greener on the other side, or if it is, at least there are benefits to NOT being published.
Ah well, I guess this is just part of the learning curve...it just SUCKS that I worked so hard on the MS and the query letter only to find I've wasted everyone's time by typing "smel".
I've gotta believe that one "l" will not be the reason that my books never see the light of day!!
It's probably the extreme in wishful thinking, but just for today I want to think that getting published isn't the be all and end all of my ambition, inspiration, and talent. I want to believe that outside recognition won't feel as wonderful as I imagine and that rejection won't hurt as much as I think it will. I want to believe the blog that I read on Query Tracker blog (QT is the best resource if you're querying) that the grass may not be greener on the other side, or if it is, at least there are benefits to NOT being published.
Ah well, I guess this is just part of the learning curve...it just SUCKS that I worked so hard on the MS and the query letter only to find I've wasted everyone's time by typing "smel".
I've gotta believe that one "l" will not be the reason that my books never see the light of day!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Can it be?
Can I really have spent 3 weeks more or less away from the internet?
I haven't gotten as much writing done as I would have liked either, not having #1k1hr people from Twitter pushing me along (I've missed you girls!), but I'm not that far behind - my notebook hasn't been out of my sight!
Getting the house ready to sell, having the house of my dreams slip through my fingers, steeling myself to view yet another "perfect house", and 2 trips with 3 kids have all left me completely exhausted...and my exhaustion seems to have trumped my motivation for awhile.
It's funny how closely connected my energy level is with my mood. I'm one of those people who is either UP or DOWN in capital letters. I am either conquering the world or burying my face in a pillow.
In other news-that-I-am-adding-in-here-non-chalantly-so-I-don't-freak-myself-out-yet-again, I have sent out my first 2 queries, thinking that I'll wait to get rejections from them before I send out others, getting my feet wet, as it were...
(Or maybe I'll be the one of a million who gets picked up right away? No? Ah well, I wasn't really expecting it anyway.)
I haven't gotten as much writing done as I would have liked either, not having #1k1hr people from Twitter pushing me along (I've missed you girls!), but I'm not that far behind - my notebook hasn't been out of my sight!
Getting the house ready to sell, having the house of my dreams slip through my fingers, steeling myself to view yet another "perfect house", and 2 trips with 3 kids have all left me completely exhausted...and my exhaustion seems to have trumped my motivation for awhile.
It's funny how closely connected my energy level is with my mood. I'm one of those people who is either UP or DOWN in capital letters. I am either conquering the world or burying my face in a pillow.
In other news-that-I-am-adding-in-here-non-chalantly-so-I-don't-freak-myself-out-yet-again, I have sent out my first 2 queries, thinking that I'll wait to get rejections from them before I send out others, getting my feet wet, as it were...
(Or maybe I'll be the one of a million who gets picked up right away? No? Ah well, I wasn't really expecting it anyway.)
Monday, August 2, 2010
Taking the plunge...
...deep breath, close your eyes, curl your toes... JUMP!
Every time I realize how close I am to sending out queries for my children's series, I feel like I'm at the edge of a 50-foot diving board, ready to jump, being watched by millions - and I forgot to put on my bathing suit.
I am so proud of my work, and a little bit defensive of it... my characters this time around are inspired by my children and I'm worried that I might not take their rejection very well.
I keep fluctuating between wanting the whole world to read these stories because they're magical and interesting and fun, and not wanting anyone to read them because they are delicate and personal and real.
Nobody told me that this point in the process, when the story is finally written properly, would be as full of conflicting emotion as the writing itself!
So I'll try not to do what I did as a child in my first (and only) diving class...I'll try to actually make that first jump and not stumble back down the ladder and into the dressing room without making eye contact with anyone.
And.... JUMP!
Every time I realize how close I am to sending out queries for my children's series, I feel like I'm at the edge of a 50-foot diving board, ready to jump, being watched by millions - and I forgot to put on my bathing suit.
I am so proud of my work, and a little bit defensive of it... my characters this time around are inspired by my children and I'm worried that I might not take their rejection very well.
I keep fluctuating between wanting the whole world to read these stories because they're magical and interesting and fun, and not wanting anyone to read them because they are delicate and personal and real.
Nobody told me that this point in the process, when the story is finally written properly, would be as full of conflicting emotion as the writing itself!
So I'll try not to do what I did as a child in my first (and only) diving class...I'll try to actually make that first jump and not stumble back down the ladder and into the dressing room without making eye contact with anyone.
And.... JUMP!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Emotions: Useful, Distracting, or Necessary?
I am sure most of you writer-types out there are emotional. You have to be, to get the myriad emotions of myriad characters to sound remotely believable. I'm wondering if your emotions ever get in the way of your writing?
I'm put in mind of an often quoted theatre saying: "Emotions? I'm an actress - I have ALL OF THEM!"
I had a really crappy day yesterday, but I had time and inspiration to write. This is the first time these three things have happened at the same time. Usually when I write, I'm calm and pretty cheerful. I'm almost always pretty cheerful (calm, not so much), so this was different for me.
I noticed my emotional state before I started, actually tweeted about it, wondering how it would affect my output. I ws a little concerned, thinking that I was so wrapped up in my head that I couldn't get into my MC's shoes.
I was so wrong. The words flowed faster than I could type them...I actually ended up with a few scandalous and hilarious typos by the end of it. I wrote, not releasing the anger as much as using it. I didn't write about what was making me unhappy (my MC's life is nothing like mine) but I wrote about unhappiness, worry, anger, sadness, stress - all of it just came tumbling out far easier than I'd expected. It worked, that was where the story was going. I still wonder, however, how I would have fared had I been expected to write a happy scene of forgiveness and joy.
So I'm wondering, fellow writer-types: do you find your emotions to hamper you as you try to get lost in your character's voice? Or do you thrive in whatever mood you happen to be in when your fingers hit the keyboard?
Do you change what you were writing in accordance with your mood?
I'm put in mind of an often quoted theatre saying: "Emotions? I'm an actress - I have ALL OF THEM!"
I had a really crappy day yesterday, but I had time and inspiration to write. This is the first time these three things have happened at the same time. Usually when I write, I'm calm and pretty cheerful. I'm almost always pretty cheerful (calm, not so much), so this was different for me.
I noticed my emotional state before I started, actually tweeted about it, wondering how it would affect my output. I ws a little concerned, thinking that I was so wrapped up in my head that I couldn't get into my MC's shoes.
I was so wrong. The words flowed faster than I could type them...I actually ended up with a few scandalous and hilarious typos by the end of it. I wrote, not releasing the anger as much as using it. I didn't write about what was making me unhappy (my MC's life is nothing like mine) but I wrote about unhappiness, worry, anger, sadness, stress - all of it just came tumbling out far easier than I'd expected. It worked, that was where the story was going. I still wonder, however, how I would have fared had I been expected to write a happy scene of forgiveness and joy.
So I'm wondering, fellow writer-types: do you find your emotions to hamper you as you try to get lost in your character's voice? Or do you thrive in whatever mood you happen to be in when your fingers hit the keyboard?
Do you change what you were writing in accordance with your mood?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Uh oh! (Hahahahaha Part 2)
So I decided to redo the "Who Do I Write Like" analyzer to check my kidlit series, just to see if I write like Stephen King when I'm writing for 4-6 year olds... and...
I'm really not sure that result is any more hopeful for a children's book than writing like Stephen King!
I'm really not sure that result is any more hopeful for a children's book than writing like Stephen King!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Writing as Responsibility
I was thinking yesterday in the shower (don't judge me, I do my best thinking in the shower) how similar the process of writing is to the process of pregnancy and childbirth.
Writers don't just write stories, they conceive them in love, build and shape them in hiding for them for a long time, then when they're ready to stand alone, we share them with the world.
Having gone through the miracle of childbirth three times and birthing a complete novel once (I'm currently gestating my second). I believe there is a sense of responsilibity that comes with the territory.
If you're contracted or published, then the responsibilities are obvious: work with an editor, meet your deadlines, keep up your blog, do signings, market your book properly, be a professional, etc.
If you are like me, you keep having a nearly peripheral dream where you see your name on bookshelves, a dream that disappears if you look at it too hard. However, I still have a responsilibity to my characters, to myself, to my future (gulp!) readers. More important than all of those, I have a very young family, and a very supportive husband. I don't exactly have a responsibility to be successful, but I do have to write the best book I can to acknowledge their sacrifice of time and attention that goes hand-in-hand with large-scale writing projects. If I don't work hard, if I give up, if it's all for nothing, I will have let them down much more than my imaginary characters and imaginary readers.
I had a great night of writing last night, but struggled most of last week. This too is like pregnancy - some days the baby is kicking and you're so excited to see what you're creating, and others you're so tired, sick, and worn out that you're not sure you can make it for one more day.
Like pregnancy, this feeling (at least for me) gets stronger the closer you get to the end of the process.
Just remember, it's worth it.
Remember that not everyone has felt the blessing of an amazing night of writing, nothing can compare to it, except a great ultrasound.
Just remember, writing what you want is a priviledge, writing it diligently the best way you know how is a responsibility.
Writers don't just write stories, they conceive them in love, build and shape them in hiding for them for a long time, then when they're ready to stand alone, we share them with the world.
Having gone through the miracle of childbirth three times and birthing a complete novel once (I'm currently gestating my second). I believe there is a sense of responsilibity that comes with the territory.
If you're contracted or published, then the responsibilities are obvious: work with an editor, meet your deadlines, keep up your blog, do signings, market your book properly, be a professional, etc.
If you are like me, you keep having a nearly peripheral dream where you see your name on bookshelves, a dream that disappears if you look at it too hard. However, I still have a responsilibity to my characters, to myself, to my future (gulp!) readers. More important than all of those, I have a very young family, and a very supportive husband. I don't exactly have a responsibility to be successful, but I do have to write the best book I can to acknowledge their sacrifice of time and attention that goes hand-in-hand with large-scale writing projects. If I don't work hard, if I give up, if it's all for nothing, I will have let them down much more than my imaginary characters and imaginary readers.
I had a great night of writing last night, but struggled most of last week. This too is like pregnancy - some days the baby is kicking and you're so excited to see what you're creating, and others you're so tired, sick, and worn out that you're not sure you can make it for one more day.
Like pregnancy, this feeling (at least for me) gets stronger the closer you get to the end of the process.
Just remember, it's worth it.
Remember that not everyone has felt the blessing of an amazing night of writing, nothing can compare to it, except a great ultrasound.
Just remember, writing what you want is a priviledge, writing it diligently the best way you know how is a responsibility.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Back up, deep breath, slow down and...
...remember why you're doing this.
After a hard evening of writing and a sleepless night this is what I've come up with.
I'm writing because I love it. I'm writing stories for my 3 kids. I'm writing novels for my characters (yes, they are real people to me, deal with it.) I'm writing because when it's good feels better than taking a hot bath on a cold evening while sipping excellent wine or watching a movie curled up with my husband or even opening my battered copy of "Pride and Prejudice" and entering a world of beauty and grace for the 20000th time.
Sera and Asher's story came to me practically whole, I've only made a few adjustments along the way. 25000 words in, and I can still see their path, I just haven't figured out how to egt them over the hurdles.
I have to decide where to go from here. It's up to me and me alone how the story of writing the story will go. It's up to me to hang onto the joy despite the frustration. It's up to me to make their story as beautiful on the page as it is in my mind. No one can write this for me.
I realize now that it's up to me to decide it's worth writing.
I realize now that it's up to me to decide if I'm worthy of writing it.
So tonight, when the Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in bed and Thing 3 is sleeping in my husband's arms (she's only 3 months old, after all) I will write. I will write what I can, to the best of my ability, and leave my insecurity behind.
Deep breath, slow down, remember why I'm doing this, dive in.
After a hard evening of writing and a sleepless night this is what I've come up with.
I'm writing because I love it. I'm writing stories for my 3 kids. I'm writing novels for my characters (yes, they are real people to me, deal with it.) I'm writing because when it's good feels better than taking a hot bath on a cold evening while sipping excellent wine or watching a movie curled up with my husband or even opening my battered copy of "Pride and Prejudice" and entering a world of beauty and grace for the 20000th time.
Sera and Asher's story came to me practically whole, I've only made a few adjustments along the way. 25000 words in, and I can still see their path, I just haven't figured out how to egt them over the hurdles.
I have to decide where to go from here. It's up to me and me alone how the story of writing the story will go. It's up to me to hang onto the joy despite the frustration. It's up to me to make their story as beautiful on the page as it is in my mind. No one can write this for me.
I realize now that it's up to me to decide it's worth writing.
I realize now that it's up to me to decide if I'm worthy of writing it.
So tonight, when the Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in bed and Thing 3 is sleeping in my husband's arms (she's only 3 months old, after all) I will write. I will write what I can, to the best of my ability, and leave my insecurity behind.
Deep breath, slow down, remember why I'm doing this, dive in.
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