Is someone trying to tell me something?

It's so hard to tell sometimes if my lack of ability to find the time to write is due to my lack of ability to find something to write about; lack of time to do anything other than work, parent, coach, and sleep; lack of talent or lack of get-up-and-go. Since I don't lack ambition or energy in other areas of my life, I find it very strange that I don't have the energy to write - to finish the last 10000 words of my book or start the crazy awesome new book that's floating around in my head.

What is wrong with me?

Paved with good intentions...

So my first week of real authorly ambition is nearly done, and I've accomplished nothing of merit. I wrote a bit, reread and revised a bit, but I don't feel like I've done anything REAL.

I have tonight and this weekend to redeem myself. I will put on good music and write away...

Life after maternity leave ended...

How sad to see that this blog, my writing, and everything that made me happy, that made me me bit the dust back in September. Not to say I'm not happy, or fulfilled, or that life's not great right now...it is, in a different way.

I'm back to work in a new job that requires a lot of personal interactions throughout the day, so (a) we have more money and (b) I have no energy for anything but my children after work, and can't even form a coherent sentence much less finish off the novel I love so dearly.

I thought that if that I couldn't put my all into the book, I shouldn't put anything. My book deserves more than what I am able to give it, certainly,and to do a halfway job on it would be very disheartening.

All that aside, I have decided a new path. I will write little bits throughout my day. I will take 5 minute breaks and jot down an idea here, a scrap of dialigue there, and on the weekend I will take one evening to myself and see what I've come up with over the week.

Six months have been wasted. Time to start out again.

:)

How do I...?

Time for another installment of "How do I...?" for fellow writers.

My question today deals with stress, exhaustion, and that enemy of us all - TIME!

I find myself with no time to write these days...and I don't mean that I'm procrastinating - I mean I have less than 3 minutes of non-active time between when I get up between 5:30-6 am and when I collapse into bed around 11. I have 3 kids, 1 in school, 1 in preschool, and 1 in diapers, and a part-time job where I work evenings while on mat leave. To make matters more complicated, our house is on the market, so it has to be pristine every single day, and my husband is probably busier than I am.

These, among other less-important-but-still-time-intensive commitments has left me feeling drained and exhausted, and verging on depressed. This isn't unusual for me since all my life I've been a bit of an overachiever and have a tendency to stretch myself just a touch too far.

This is the first time, though, that I've been stretched so far that I hve no time to write, and even if I had the time, I'm too worn out to write complete sentences, much less create believable dialogue and plot. This means that not only am I stressed to the max and unreasonably busy, I can't do the one thing that helps me cope with the stress and busyness.

So, the question is: WHAT DO YOU DO TO FIND THE TIME, MAKE, THE TIME, OR TAKE THE TIME TO WRITE?

It had to happen...

...I got my first rejection today. I was mostly-ok with it, which was a surprise to me considering how much I've been hyping myself up about it.

I thought I'd feel like a "real author", like it was a rite of passage or something. I was even patting myself on the back for the self-command as I pressed the delete button on the email and changed the status from "Queried" to "Rejected" on querytracker.net

Then I thought about writing tonight. I wasn't planning to work on more of my Imaginary Closet stories (one of which was the rejected submission), but I had a good run yesterday on my novel and wanted to give it another full writing session.

I was almost shocked to hear my internal voice moan softly, "What's the point? No one wants what I have to offer."

I'm not big on self-pity, but it's taking a lot of my concentration just trying to block out that voice.

Nose to the grindstone...

"Just keep writing. Just keep writing. Just keep writing, writing, writing..."

I have sent out 10 queries so far, wanting to start slow in order to better deal with rejections. My thinking was that it would be much easier for them to trickle in rather than to face a whole slew of them in one sitting.

My thinking didn't take into account those agents who are simply too busy to send rejections and fall under the "no news is a rejection" category. Once I realized that error, I purposely set out to find agents who not only represent my genre (picture book series) but who are also known for fast replies.

Hoping for a response...any response, I sent out 7 more queries to those agents, but so far, nothing. I find myself checking my gmail account with OCD-like frequency. This has left me in a state of frustrated serenity with numerous half-created haiku floating around in my mind.

I have to redirect and regroup. I need to take a few days away from agent research/query mode and continue writing my paranormal romance, breaking it up with stints of writing more of the picture book series. I love my novel, and I adore my stories. I love the agent/query process. I LOVE the idea of being published. I'm even ok with the idea of being rejected...I think it might make me feel like a "real" author.

I just hate waiting.

Fellow frustrated frazzled queriers!!

Do I (or rather does Natalie Fischer) have a contest for you??

Horrendously Hilarious Query Contest

I'm not terribly funny, being more the dry wit type, so I probably won't be entering (although a query based on my lack of humour might be my ticket) but I still can't wait to read all the entries!!