Realizations. Introspection is never fun.

I've been wandering around the blogosphere trying to find some people whose political ideology matches mine (with only one success so far)and I've been a bit unnerved by the number of abandoned blogs there are out there. Blog after blog, click after click, I hit screens that haven't been updated in weeks, months, often years.

Then I realized...that's exactly what someone would find if they stumbled onto my blog. They'd find a stagnant relic in its infancy. I haven't been blogging long enough to have grown this into a teen or even a tween...and my little blog that I had such great hopes for is fading fast, held together by brief entries based on how rarely I write here, or based entirely on guilt for abandoning it.

In a twisted way, by abandoning this blog day after day, I am abandoning and moving away from the person I was when I started it. I was so excited about writing, the process, the problems, the (EEK!) publishing. I was looking forward to querying, rejection letters, to CREATING.

That life seems so far away now. I was on mat leave, I had ambition, energy, and a whole world in my head.

I'm wondering if I'm just living through year-long writer's block when it comes to Sera, or if this is what my life is now.

I am not a writer now. Perhaps I never was.