Friday, October 28, 2011

OK, that's it, I'm back. For Realz This Time.

Man, I just can't pull off that internet lingo, can I?

Quiet day at the office today. Nice. Only a few minutes until I leave this safe little space ensconsed as I am in my books and binders and papers to push. Only a few minutes until I leave my space and leave to pick up 3 squalling, squabbling loved ones who have hopefully played/napped/eaten enough to be fit for introduction, however limited, into society.
In other words, I'm about to pick up my kids and take them shopping for Halloween candy and friends' birthday presents. I feel like I am looking into the abyss.

I really came on here to post about my fears of writing a far-too-political novel for NaNoWriMo and how that politicism may expose my soft underbelly to at least a few critiquers, if not (Maybe? Pretty please?) someday the general public.

Ah well, the clock has struck...or whatever the little digital timeteller on the right-hand corner of my screen does. It's time to face the wrath of the three drunken pixies.

Oh, and I'll be posting here more often. Srsly. For real...z. Nope, can't pull it off.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Realizations. Introspection is never fun.

I've been wandering around the blogosphere trying to find some people whose political ideology matches mine (with only one success so far)and I've been a bit unnerved by the number of abandoned blogs there are out there. Blog after blog, click after click, I hit screens that haven't been updated in weeks, months, often years.

Then I realized...that's exactly what someone would find if they stumbled onto my blog. They'd find a stagnant relic in its infancy. I haven't been blogging long enough to have grown this into a teen or even a tween...and my little blog that I had such great hopes for is fading fast, held together by brief entries based on how rarely I write here, or based entirely on guilt for abandoning it.

In a twisted way, by abandoning this blog day after day, I am abandoning and moving away from the person I was when I started it. I was so excited about writing, the process, the problems, the (EEK!) publishing. I was looking forward to querying, rejection letters, to CREATING.

That life seems so far away now. I was on mat leave, I had ambition, energy, and a whole world in my head.

I'm wondering if I'm just living through year-long writer's block when it comes to Sera, or if this is what my life is now.

I am not a writer now. Perhaps I never was.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ughhh...Rookie Mistake!

I had a dream a few weeks ago. This dream could be the beginning of the plot of one messed-up, intense, and pretty cool novel. I woke up kinda freaked out and very inspired.

I have yet to finish my 2nd novel...and the first one is chilling up there on the shelf.

The other day while doing the dishes, I was thinking about a tumultuous period in my own life. Bigger-than-life characters, unbelievable plot twists, darkness, true love, betrayal, they all jumped to my mind in an instant. I stood there kinda freaked out and very inspired.

Still haven't finished the 2nd nor the shelved.

I remember reading last year about jotting down new ideas while focusing on your current story. It warned newbies like myself not to get caught up in the 'grass is greener' mentality that comes when you're more than 3/4 of the way through your book. I understood the wisdom of it, but didn't fully understand the temptation of the shiny new story that I haven't already hacked to pieces.

A few days ago while I was wrestling with these three absolutely different (different genres, different tone, even different styles) stories that are fighting for supremacy in my mind, I realized that although I have hacked my 2nd book to death, and the wrinkles I have left are impossible to reconcile right now and I have less than 20000 words left followed by eons and eons of is the story I love the most.

It is the path of most resistance, but in the end, I will be better for following it.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I have done it!! I have managed to figure out a way to write during my hectic day! I feel like I have caught a life preserver thrown by...myself!

In my job, I do not have the ability for a Twitter-inspired (and supported) #1k1hr, so I was not sure how to incorporate writing into my workday. When I get home, after Thing 1 Thing 2 and Squishy (poor baby, I'll have to change her nickname before she ends up with a complex) are in bed, I am so done I just want to relax with a glass of wine and a book that's already been written.

But I have found the magic formula - instead of #1k1hr where I aim for 1000 words in an hour, I am going to aim for the more reasonable #1/4k/1/4hr where I go for 250 words in 15 minutes, and try to hit 4 of these in a day.

Ahhh...sanity restored!


Monday, May 2, 2011

Is someone trying to tell me something?

It's so hard to tell sometimes if my lack of ability to find the time to write is due to my lack of ability to find something to write about; lack of time to do anything other than work, parent, coach, and sleep; lack of talent or lack of get-up-and-go. Since I don't lack ambition or energy in other areas of my life, I find it very strange that I don't have the energy to write - to finish the last 10000 words of my book or start the crazy awesome new book that's floating around in my head.

What is wrong with me?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Paved with good intentions...

So my first week of real authorly ambition is nearly done, and I've accomplished nothing of merit. I wrote a bit, reread and revised a bit, but I don't feel like I've done anything REAL.

I have tonight and this weekend to redeem myself. I will put on good music and write away...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Life after maternity leave ended...

How sad to see that this blog, my writing, and everything that made me happy, that made me me bit the dust back in September. Not to say I'm not happy, or fulfilled, or that life's not great right is, in a different way.

I'm back to work in a new job that requires a lot of personal interactions throughout the day, so (a) we have more money and (b) I have no energy for anything but my children after work, and can't even form a coherent sentence much less finish off the novel I love so dearly.

I thought that if that I couldn't put my all into the book, I shouldn't put anything. My book deserves more than what I am able to give it, certainly,and to do a halfway job on it would be very disheartening.

All that aside, I have decided a new path. I will write little bits throughout my day. I will take 5 minute breaks and jot down an idea here, a scrap of dialigue there, and on the weekend I will take one evening to myself and see what I've come up with over the week.

Six months have been wasted. Time to start out again.